It’s time to get the old aluminum pole dowm out of the crawlspace. That’s right, it’s Festivus!
Festivus has many great traditions, the Festivus pole, the Festivus dinner, the Feats of Strength, but my favorite has always been the Airing of Grievances. I might post a podcast of this year’s audio recording later, but for now I’ll just write them here.
This is a partial list of all those who have disappointed me this past year. Feel free to add your own in the comments.
Jim Doyle, you didn’t have to be on this list. I’m sure you never truly celebrated Festivus, but you at least helped to spread it. Until this year. You got so offended by Michael Richards that you won’t do the usual photo op
with your Festivus pole. Like any one was ever an admirer of Richard’s character before it happened. Festivus isn’t even a Kramer tradition; it was and always will be a Costanza tradition. Jim, I didn’t have a whole lot of respect for you, now I have less.
Russ Feingold. You disappointed me by deciding not to run for President in 08. What was the problem, Russ? Afraid to run against me? Couldn’t stand the heat? I mean, yeah, it was the smart thing to do. I was clearly going to beat you. I had hoped you’d stay in it a while longer. You were one of the few who would have actually said what you believed, and I can at least respect that. I was looking forward to extending our crazy-off a little further, but no, you couldn’t bring the cheese to the table.
John McCain, you’ve sold out. I used to be able to respect you , in 2000. Since then, it’s been one example after another where you’ve stuck your head further and further up the collective rear end of the right.All U.S. athletes
Wisconsin voters, I expected more from you.
Badger Men’s Hockey Team. Sure, you’re the defending National Champs. But I didn’t have season tickets last year. I camped out a week for tickets for this season
, where you have won a total of three home games out of ten so far. Come on guys, pick it up.Letters in Bottles
. What can I say. You were a great local blog, when it was Steve and Brad. I know Mike (and Dave) are making an effort, but you haven’t been the same. I probably just need to lower my level of expectation, but I shouldn’t have to.
Winter. I know not to expect a snow on every Christmas, but rain? That’s just sad. You had almost a week of cold, and then you gave up. I expected more.
Dave Chappelle, you had one of the funniest shows on television, you had built up a huge following, there was a ton of hype built up for season 3 of Chappelle’s Show, and then you had a breakdown and took off for Africa.