ERA 2.0

Let’s repeal an amendment. How about, say, the 18^th? Already gone? Well then, how about the 15^th. And the 19^th. And the 26^th. And probably parts of various articles of the Constitution. They’re not bad amendments, just a little outdated. Just bear with me now.

I am proposing we replace them all with an expanded version of the Equal Rights Amendment. Just bear with me now.

Section 1: Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex, race, religion, or national origin.

Section 2: Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of age to any individual 18 years of age or older.

Section 3: The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.

Section 4. This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification.

I fully understand what this all means. Voting would be open to anyone, regardless of race or gender, over the age of 18. The drinking age would be lowered to 18. Same sex marriage would be legal. Affirmative action in state universities would be illegal. Hate crime laws would be invalidated. Virtually all discrimination by the government would be officially outlawed. And conveniently, the President would not have to be over 35.

Now I still strongly support the right of individuals to discriminate as they please. I just don’t think the government should discriminate among its citizens. The Equal Rights Amendment is needed to affirm constitutionally that the bedrock principles of our democracy – "all men are created equal," "liberty and justice for all," "equal justice under law," "government of the people, by the people, and for the people" – apply equally to everyone.

You’ll notice I added a few things to the original ERA that was proposed a while back. That’s because I don’t like women any more than I like queers, niggers, ‘spics, Arabs, or Jews. Bitches.