French Toast, Pt 2

So a bunch of French youths are rioting in Paris, again. Apparently their President proposed a new law to encourage businesses to hire young people, and this has the young people the law is intended to help upset about it. Of course, the law actually just makes it easier to fire young people. So you may understand why they’re all upset. Maybe they’re afraid the unemployment rate will rise from 25% to 27%. But you can’t fire someone without hiring them first, right? So they may not get the permanent job they already don’t have now. The law could help them at least get a job for right now. I do have to give those youths credit, though. When I was looking for a job, I read job postings and filled out applications. I never thought about setting cars on fire. But it all really comes down to one thing. Those French kids obviously have too much free time on their hands. I think it’s time for them to go get jobs.

ERA 2.0

Let’s repeal an amendment. How about, say, the 18^th? Already gone? Well then, how about the 15^th. And the 19^th. And the 26^th. And probably parts of various articles of the Constitution. They’re not bad amendments, just a little outdated. Just bear with me now.

I am proposing we replace them all with an expanded version of the Equal Rights Amendment. Just bear with me now.

Section 1: Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex, race, religion, or national origin.

Section 2: Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of age to any individual 18 years of age or older.

Section 3: The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.

Section 4. This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification.

I fully understand what this all means. Voting would be open to anyone, regardless of race or gender, over the age of 18. The drinking age would be lowered to 18. Same sex marriage would be legal. Affirmative action in state universities would be illegal. Hate crime laws would be invalidated. Virtually all discrimination by the government would be officially outlawed. And conveniently, the President would not have to be over 35.

Now I still strongly support the right of individuals to discriminate as they please. I just don’t think the government should discriminate among its citizens. The Equal Rights Amendment is needed to affirm constitutionally that the bedrock principles of our democracy – "all men are created equal," "liberty and justice for all," "equal justice under law," "government of the people, by the people, and for the people" – apply equally to everyone.

You’ll notice I added a few things to the original ERA that was proposed a while back. That’s because I don’t like women any more than I like queers, niggers, ‘spics, Arabs, or Jews. Bitches.

Oh, it's on now!

Apparently, a certain junior senator (D) from Wisconsin read one of my earlier posts attacking his maverick status and decided he would one-up me. On March 13^th, he introduced a resolution in the Senate calling for a censure of President Bush, because of the President’s use of illegal wiretaps. Now I don’t have a problem with that. The wiretaps were illegal. Note the lack of the word alleged. Bush does not get to reinterpret laws however he wants. What I have a problem with is Feingold’s need to try to one-better me. What’s a matter Russ, Mr. “Maverick,” Mr. “Underdog,” did you feel threatened? Trust me; you don’t want to get into a crazy-off with me. That’s one battle I will not let you win. So I suggest you just back off now, Russ. But if you want a fight, bring it. I will out-crazy you any day of the week, and twice on alternating weekends. For example: see next post.

Storm Warning

A while ago, back in 3rd grade, our class had to decide whether the weather was nice or bad, more like a lamb or a lion, if you will. The implication was that whichever way the month of March started, it would end the opposite way. It wasn’t science, it was basically all just opinion, and that’s why you know it worked. This year it is tough, though. The weather today was cold, but not really that cold. A little windy. Kind of overcast. Not real clear what it was. And now we won’t know what the weather will be at the end of the month. Will it go out like a lion, out like a lamb, or out like the proverbial boner in sweatpants? It’s this kind of uncertainty that could cause chaos. So, as President, it is my duty to step up and declare that March officially came in like a lamb.

That means March must now go out like a lion. You hear that Mother Nature? I made my decision, you don’t have a choice now. And it had better be a quality lion, bitch. Too many lions these days have been huge disappointments: the Cowardly Lion, the Detroit Lions, Aslan, Jack Dreyfus. Yeah, that’s right. So don’t wuss out on me, nature. I’d better see a good storm when the time comes. Because weather, if March doesn’t go out like a lion, you’re a coward.