23.5.06

Hodgepodge Tuesday Part Deux

Where does a platypus learn a word like Hodgepodge? From me.

It’s around Tuesday again, so, back by popular demand, is another Hodgepodge Tuesday. Enjoy.

I hear a seven year old kid swam from Alcatraz to San Francisco. He said his brother was framed for killing the Vice President’s brother, or something like that. Can we get some tighter leg irons on this kid?

Congratulations to the Dallas Mavericks on winning the NBA championship. I’m not in the White House yet, but you are all still invited to my house. Devin, I know you’d like to come back to Madison.

Pat Robertson, there is no way you can leg press 2000 pounds. I always knew you were insane and borderline retarded, but this makes you a flat out liar.

I was watching the Preakness this weekend and saw Barbaro break his leg. Here at the UW we have a cheer that goes “Shoot ‘em like a horse.” I don’t hate animals, but they are just animals. A horse is a horse (of course, of course). This horse received better health care than most Americans get. I did enjoy watching everyone tell Bernardini’s owner that he “still deserved to be called the winner.”

I could pick a winner on American Idol tonight, but I’m not going to. It may be the most important event in your life, but I really do not care. I’ve never really gone for raising idols. And I think the show is crap.

In Ohio a 500 pound bear attacked a woman in her house. How high do bears have to get on the Threatdown before people take them seriously? They aren’t cute and cuddly when they’re mauling your face. Bears used to be something everyone knew to fear, right after lions and tigers. Now we’ve got idiots like the guy in Grizzly Man who think we need to understand animals like bears. Again, I don’t hate animals, but they are just animals.

1 Comments:

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13/2/10 15:08  

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