If I had me a Hammer

I heard today that Tom Delay is stepping down from his office. I understand he’s probably guilty, but I honestly couldn’t even tell you what he is being charged with. Regardless of your opinion of the guy, you have to admit, “The Hammer” is a pretty sweet nickname. Now I don’t plan on being indicted any time soon, but if I’m going to run for a national office, it would be nice to have a cool nickname the press can throw around. I’ve had many nicknames in the past, but “Scuba,” “Little Guy Steve,” “Bruno,” “Uncle Tony,” “Bigfoot,” “Scubo,” “Count Dorkensnorf,” “Little Fat Baby,” and the rest just don’t give the impact I’m looking for. I tried creating my own nickname at work a while back, but Steve “T-Bone” Dorshorst never quite caught on. So I am asking you, my loyal readers, to submit your suggestions. The best one will be selected, and the winner gets the satisfaction of knowing they helped their country.