Me Day Weekend

Today is President’s Day. If you forgot to get me a present, that’s okay. You still have time.

I won’t be doing any work today, since it’s a federal holiday, and specifically it’s Me Day, so I will not be writing a full entry here. Instead I thought I would open this post up so all of you can comment about how great I am and how great a job I am doing.

Cheney's Got a Gun

So Vice President Dick Cheney shot a friend while hunting yesterday. My first question was, “Was it Scooter Libby?” Because that would be a little suspicious. It turned out that he accidentally shot some old 78 year old guy in the face while hunting quail. Again, Vice President Dick Cheney shot a 78 year old man in the face. There are so many directions I could take this entry. But while everyone else is making all the jokes, and there are so many to make, so very many, I’m going to take this opportunity to push hunter safety.

Whether you are hunting quail, rabbit, raccoon, duck, turkey, deer, sasquatch, bear, or the most dangerous game of all, man, you must know the rules of hunter’s safety. One of the most important things I learned taking Hunter’s Education was this: Always know what you are aiming at, and everything that lies along your line of fire, both in front of and behind your target. When you hold a loaded firearm in your hands, you are responsible for anything that happens. So remember kids, Mr. Cheney, always think of safety first. Guns don’t shoot people. People shoot people.

Aaaaack!!!!

I always go right to the cartoons section when I read the morning paper. I’ve got to get my Cathy fix. Not everyone thinks it’s that funny, but they just don’t get it. People, it’s a talking pig that wears funny clothes. That’s hilarious. It’s some other cartoons printed recently, though, that aren’t making everyone laugh, that I’ll discuss here today.

Some Danish newspaper printed some cartoons featuring the Prophet Mohammed doing various things around the house. I never read that issue; I find most Danish newspapers focus on the country of Denmark more than I care for. Anyway now a bunch of Muslims are getting their burkas in a bunch over it. Now I don’t have much sway in the Mideast right now, but they should listen to me anyway because I am right. I won’t even discuss freedom of the press, because it’s clear those protesting the cartoons don’t know what that is, or just don’t care. Never mind that the cartoons were drawn to protest the censorship of anything critical to Muslims.

Yes, depicting Mohammed is forbidden in Islam. So what? Drinking alcohol is also forbidden, but I don’t have to stop for you or anyone else. The Jews don’t seem to care when I eat a bacon cheeseburger. I don’t care if you eat roast beef on Good Friday. Why can’t they trust Allah to punish those who violate his laws? Why does everyone need to take it on themselves to dole out divine judgment?

And how do they know that the cartoons were even of Mohammed? Do they know what he looks like and can recognize his likeness? ‘Cause anyone who believes that the images depict Mohammed should be guilty of the very thing they are upset about. Yes, it’s all semantics, but what in religion isn’t?

Yes, the cartoons were offensive to Muslims. Get over it. If you are upset because someone stereotypes all Muslims as militant fanatics, burning down an embassy doesn’t help your case. Stop acting like you are three years old. Everyone grow up. Everyone.