Exploits

I was watching the Miss Universe pageant. I really had nothing better to do. I have to say, I was not real impressed. I did think the giant penis in the background of the stage was a nice touch, but as far as the girls went, all I can say is, eh. Beauty is pretty subjective. I don’t care if you want to hold an event exploiting attractive women. Just give me some women I can find attractive. I wasn’t surprised, though. Did anyone ask me who I wanted to represent me? Tara Conner, you are not the legitimate Miss USA. And Zuleyka Riviera, you are not the legitimate Miss Universe.

But I had another point to make in writing this post. You may be aware that Miss Puerto Rico got the crown. She wasn’t my choice, but I can’t complain too much. Why? Because we own you, Puerto Rico. Not only did we get fourth, but we also own the winner. Not bad.

I’ve always been confused as to why we still keep Puerto Rico as a commonality. That’s what you do when you plan to exploit a country, be it through stealing its resources or subjugating its people. If you are only going to extend your protection and grant rights, you still should expect something back. I’m talking dinero. Hear that, puertorriquenos? Yo quiero federal taxes.

So take a vote, PR, and decide if you finally want to become a part of this country. If not, I’m selling you back to Cuba.