Los del Gitmo

President Bush was in the news again. Did you see this? Did you hear about this? President Bush was in the news recently. Apparently now he has agreed to support the bill banning the use of torture. Now if only he would sign the bill banning the Macarena. I’d hook a car battery up to my testicles right now if it would make them stop playing that song everywhere.

There have been two arguments against using torture. The first is that if we do it, then our enemies will use it against our troops. Guess what, if a terrorist organization captures one of our troops and wants to torture him before they behead him, they will. And if they do, will that give us the right to torture back? Because that’s what you’re saying.

The other argument is that the use of torture is prohibited in the Geneva Convention. Screw the Geneva Convention. War is brutal, and you have to do whatever it takes to win. If you have to stop in the middle of a war and check your rulebook, you deserve to lose. It’s only the side that wins that gets to decide who was right and who was wrong.

So why ban torture? Because I’m on the side that won, and I say it is wrong. We’ve got to be better than that. We’ve got to show that we have at least some principles. And we can’t keep using the World Trade Center Airplane Attack as an excuse. Or “He was out of town, and his two friends were sooo fine.”