14.11.05

Ground Floor

Hello. My name is Stephen Dorshorst, and I would like to be your next President of the United States. Screw that. I will be your next president, so you’d better get ready.

So far, this isn’t going real well. Writing this first entry, that is. The campaign has not gone anywhere yet. So far, no one is even aware I am running. I had thought about holding a big press conference to announce my candidacy, but I decided not to, partly because I knew no one would care. Instead I officially started my 2008 Presidential campaign by getting completely wasted last Friday on a bottle of Fleishman’s vodka.

So now, I can casually bring it up in conversations, and people will ask, “Wait, did you say you were running for President?” and I’ll say, “Yeah.” Trust me, it’ll be awesome. Besides, since I’m starting at the absolute bottom, it will be pretty hard to go any lower. But that’s what this blog is for.

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