Turkey Lurkey Do

Thanksgiving is tomorrow. Every year there is a big photo op where the President pardons a turkey. I’ve never really liked the whole thing. Why does this one turkey deserve to get pardoned? Is it a friend of someone I know? Was it wrongly accused of being a turkey? Was it chosen at random, or was it specifically raised for this event? It’s not like the President was going to eat that turkey, then decided to spare it, and now he’s just going to have a vegetarian Thanksgiving. No, they’re still going to eat turkey, just a different one. So yeah, it seems like a pile of BS, and as President, I won’t be a part of it.

The press will still expect a photo op, and I won’t deny them that. The turkey will be out on the front lawn, with everyone around watching. I’ll come out, wearing my fall jacket. I’ll go into the woodshed and bring out the axe. Then I’ll put the turkey’s neck against a tree stump, and, well you get the picture. People say they want old fashioned values, right. Well, it’s about time the President cut the crap, acted like a man, taught the kiddos a lesson, about the Circle of Life and the Food Chain and all that jazz.