Fat Tuesday part III: the Reckoning
No, that's not forced perspective. The can is the size of my head.
1:00 Started cooking the first potful.
1:22 Starting first bowl. I hope the last bite tastes this good.
1:27 Finished with first bowl. Start second bowl.
1:34 Finished with second bowl. Start third bowl.
1:44 Finished with third bowl. Start fourth bowl. It doesn’t taste that good, but that might just be because it’s the fourth bowl.
2:04 Finished with fourth bowl. Fifth bowl is ready to go but I am not. I feel like I could puke. I’m done eating for a while. I think I’m halfway done. I hope so, anyway.
1 bowl holds 1 1/2-2 cups. I have eaten 6-7 cups at this point.
Half way done.3:45
4:22
4:58
5:02
7:00
I am feeling really bloated.
My throat does not want to swallow anymore.
9:00 I don't know what is worse, the Badgers dropping a game to Michigan State, or the gas that I'm starting to get. I went to drop a deuce and thought I was going to blow my rear off.
9:20 Starting last bowl. I am just going to power through this one.
Another violent poop. The gas is getting bad.
9:45 Done. Done with the last bowl, done with the pot, done with the can.
Now on to the other can again.
The bottom of the can, bottom of the bowl.What a beautiful sight.
posted by Dorshorst at 13:35
6 Comments:
I do not want to be around you at any time today. In fact, I'm pissed that you're polluting Madison's air quality with your anus.
I love that the first bowl took you 5 minutes and the last took you 60.
I wish to apologize to anyone who did come near me today. Particularly between 8:00 and 12:00 this morning. I do believe I now know what childbirth feels like.
A real man would have had a challenger, someone to compete with. Only a very sick person does this alone.
I'll buy you a can if you think you can beat my times.
Wow... I guess all I can say is it's a good thing you didn't try to see how much water you could drink.
a bean eating contest? thats so crazy it could work.
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