In the beginning, it was dark. Then I started this blog. And things got a little darker.
Let me say one thing first. Anyone who thinks this site is a joke, who doesn’t believe I am actually running for President, who doesn’t think I will win, all you skeptics and haters, leave now. Go on. I said go. Stop reading this and get the hell off of my blog.
Are you still here? I told you to get lost. Don’t even waste your time reading this blog, because I don’t want to waste my time on you.
I suppose if you’ve left now it’s too late to say I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. Now go away before I taunt you a second time.
Okay, I think I can begin this now. I felt I should add this post here to guide newcomers to the site. Yes, I am running for President. Yes, I am serious. Yes, I know I have no chance of winning. That's not the point. The point is to provide an option for everyone who is pissed off with the way politics are being run. I don't think people should have to be forced to choose between a giant douche and a turd sandwich. I don't think the extreme right and the extreme left should get to shape the political debate. I think moderates should still get to voice their views. I think public policy should be based on reason, common sense, and rational debate, and not on theology or ideology. I think it is time for those of us who still live in the real world, where results matter more than rhetoric, and people are held accountable for what they do, to band together and say, loudly and passionately, "Let's be reasonable." That's why I founded the Neutral Party. That's why I'm running for President.
This blog will be where I comment on current events, random thoughts. I write posts whenever I feel like, on whatever I feel like. The posts are arranged by the date they are posted under, but they are not necessarily chronological. Nor are they written chronologically. Some are written months after they are posted. Nor are they all in the present time. Some are set in future years. Given all this, don’t feel restricted by the dates of the posts. Go back and read old posts. Add comments whenever you feel like, on whatever you feel like. I may tell you what you should do and what you should think, but I won’t dictate how you can comment. Most blogs keep focused on current entries, letting past entries fade into irrelevance. This is not the case here. By the nature of this endeavor, I am more concerned with things happening than with when they actually happen.
I am still working out a few things. There will be links coming up to my general campaign website, with more information on the actual campaign, my platform, key issues, things of that nature. And there will be a link to the party website.
I hope you come back often. And be sure to leave comments. It’s hearing from my supporters that keeps me confident we can win this election. If you don’t stay, go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person.